Losing Sight

Sometimes...the routine of the day is exhausting.  There is never a dull moment with the crew I have.  Everything I thought I knew about parenting before we adopted became useless when we welcomed the kids home.  Luke has challenged me in so many ways, and it is because of his challenges that he has caused me to grow up, to be more, to do more, to push myself harder and farther than I would have.

I thought I had already gone through so much with Luke before the beginning of 2011.  There have been the ear tubes and adenoid surgery times 3, heart surgery, more therapies that I can remember at 4 different therapy centers, ADHD, micocephaly and sensory processing disorder.  He was on IEP and I thought I had been doing a pretty good job advocating for him.  Then came the challenge from the Lord.  To really get to the heart of the issues.  To dive into and really explore the issues that Luke was having.  That led to a diagnosis of Tourette's in January, Glaucoma in February, a new IEP in April, and Auditory Processing Disorder in May.  By the time school got out, I was EXHAUSTED.  I felt like I was just bracing myself to keep upright.  "Was this it?"  NOPE...Luke's glaucoma doctor was concerned by the amount of vision loss there was and sent us to another specialist.  A traumatizing test for Luke, and finally we have settled into a routine of therapy on Tuesdays and iLs therapy during the week at home.

Sometimes after a long day of parenting, after I sometimes feel defeated or that maybe I could have handled something different, I reminded about the path that God choose for my kids.  Luke is exactly where God wants him to be.  He placed him with us.  Sometimes I question my ability to parent a child that is losing their SIGHT.  How do you do that?  I know that it is not fun to think about.  But it must be thought about.  This past May I actually called the School for the Blind.  I had to face reality that their services were going to be needed by son at some point.  They have advocates that come into the schools that provided services to kids like Luke.

The TRUTH is I believe that God has the ability to HEAL Luke completely, but also know that sometimes God teaches us things through trials.  As Luke and I were walking hand in hand one night in Disneyland this past June, we talked about making a "mental picture" or "movie" of what we were seeing. I described the lights and people and the smell of waffle cones and popcorn.  I told him that we needed to remember this time at home. I think the more "mental pictures" Luke has the more he will be able to draw from in the future.  Took everything in me not to melt into a puddle right in the middle of the Happiest Place on Earth.  The tears rolled down my cheeks at the thought of him losing is vision and not being able to see things.  How many times do we take for granite that we can see, or hear or taste, etc?  I know I do.  But because of Luke I am able to realize now the gift of SIGHT.