Life @ The Dahlhouse: Week 2

Not surprising, I already find myself very behind on weekly updates!  This was a goal I had this year... to consistently update my blog so that I have record of the events.  Are you like me, already struggling with your new year's goals?  The struggle is real!  

Week 2 was CRAZY friends!  Monday came and BAM, 4 appointments that day.  Who does that?  I never plan on that happening, but sometimes, once in awhile, all the stars align.  LOL.  That Monday we had an orthodontist appointment, two doctors appointments in a row and a tutoring appointment.  I was wiped out.  And that little cherub spent a lot of time in waiting rooms that day.

Do you ever go through a season of life and you feel like it is a difficult one?  I am right there with you!  I told Mark the other day that we are in a tough season.  There is something BIG going on with everyone of my kiddos, and I am left feeling like I am just not ENOUGH most days.  How do you spread yourself out?  How do you make sure each one has there needs met?  Regardless, I get myself out of bed each morning and try again.

 #truth

Miss B has been REALLY struggling.  Anxiety has set up shop in her little mind.  I'm telling you, it is like looking at a childhood version of myself.  So many of her struggles I relate to so much!  Separating from me leaves her almost panicky.  I leave her in the classroom each day, and walk home in tears myself.  I never let her see me cry, but I fight everything to not scoop her up and take her home with me.  Does anyone have any suggestions that help kiddos with anxiety?  I am all ears!

 Some days are the perfect storm of organic applesauce and fast food chicken nuggets, while we sit in high school algebra class with the oldest.  I am not great at math.  I don't know much algebra.  But me showing up for him, that is the most important thing.  Even with a toddler in tow, who poops in the middle of class, we want Luke to know we are there for him.

*Luke goes to an AMAZING alternative learning school called River Homelink.  He attends class two full days a week and does classwork at home three days a week.  They are very parent welcoming and encourage parents to participate and even bring our pooping toddlers with us.  Haha!

Do you ever bribe your kiddos? If you do, you are MY people!! Confession, I bribe my kids!  To help Miss B get through the day, I promised her we would make cake pops.  So Friday night we made cake pops.  They are surprisingly easy to make.  They just take time, and make a slightly big mess, but WORTH it!

I ended the week at a VIPKID local meet up.  VIPKID is the online teaching company that I work for. It allows me to make extra income working around my schedule.  And as we know, I need a flexible work schedule (four appointments in one day). I teach English to Chinese students in a 1:1 environment.  I share more about my experience on the VIPKID page tab.

If you have ever wanted to teach online, ESL or work with VIPKID I would love to help you through the interview and hiring process.  Simply click this link VIPKID APPLY  .  Then send me an email misscarissa@hotmail.com, and let me know you applied and I will be in contact with you within 24 hours.

"Life is tough darling, but so are you."  ~Stephanie Bennett Henry~

Life @ The Dahlhouse: When ADHD Makes Things Hard

Things have been hard...very hard.  The atmosphere around the house has been tense at times.  I could share pictures of my cute kids (which they are) and share all the funny things they say (which they have); however, life sometimes serves up hard times.  And things have been kind of messy around here.  No clear direct path to the answer.  And for my brain that is difficult.  I want resolution and solutions, and I want the problems fixed, and fixed yesterday.  I am not patient, and I want immediate results.  I don't want to wait.  

Being a special needs parent is tough.  There is no manual, there is no one telling me what to do, and what step to do next.  There is no one feeding me the answers so I don't make mistakes or mess up.  And I know I mess up.  My hearts longing is to make all the right decisions for my kids. But reality is that I am going to mess up.  And I do mess up.  I always worry that I am not doing enough, or that I am doing too much.  Or that I missed a specific therapy that we should have done, or done one that we should NOT have done.  Are they on the right meds?  Should they be on meds? Should they be eating that or NOT eating that?  Sugar...no sugar?  How much screen time...ahhhh the list goes on and on. 

And then their is the voice of guilt in my head...I hear it chastising me over choices made or not made.  Should we have gone gluten free? dairy free? sugar free?  Am I giving them too many choices or not enough choices? Are they going to end up in therapy someday because we didn't do sports, or after school activities?  No matter that our after school activities include trying to the loads of homework or appointments/therapies.  

Then there is the sadness and grief over how I wish my life was sometimes.  Not always do I look through that lens; but sometimes the waves are huge the surprise me and hit me out of no where.  A few weeks ago, I was shopping at Walmart.  Luke had outgrown all his pants seemingly overnight.  The printer had ran out of ink during the all important making of the science fair projects.  So off Luke and I ran to Walmart to pick up pants and ink.  While he was trying on a zillion pairs of pants, I caught sight of his shoes (which were worn).  After we had selected the appropriate pair of pants, we wandered the isles to the back of the store where they display the shoes.  I found a good looking sport shoe that would last until we could find something of better quality.  Shoe shopping with Luke has always been difficult.  Due to sensory needs, he prefers his shoes to feel and fit the exact correct way.  It tries my patience every single time.  I turned to show Luke the shoe, and found he had wandered to the end of the isle.  Right in front of the Velcro shoes.  "Mom I like these," he told me.  I eyed the shoes.  They were black with orange highlights and had three black Velcro bands that sat across the front of the shoe.  They were like the kind he wore when he was 4.  I thought about my words very carefully.  "Buddy, you are 15 years old.  You need to find some shoes that tie."  "But mom," he argued, "I can do these shoes.   They are easy and I don't need help."  I agreed with him in my mind.  "Yes", I told myself, "the kids at school will get one look at these and they will eat him up."  My heart literally broke in that moment.  My boy, not caring what people think wanted the shoes that he could do independently.  And here I am having that moment... that 15 year olds should want to wear NIKE's and not Velcro.  We ended up reaching a compromise, without him knowing any of my thoughts.  There were a pair of shoes that were Velcro but did not look like Velcro.  God bless the designer who made these.  After we returned home, I went up to my closet and cried.  I wish it wasn't so difficult for Luke to tie shoes.  I wish he could fit in with the other kids at school and not stand out.  I wish for so many different things.  I wish everything wasn't a challenge for him.

School this year has been very difficult.  Much more difficult than last year.  I am not sure why, and I have spent many hours wondering this.  Perhaps the kids have been tougher on him, or he has not matured as fast as the other boys, and they notice it.  It is so trying on my mama's heart to watch him go through the struggles, and see the tears, and hear the hurt.  On one particular difficult week, I stopped in to have lunch with him and play Yahtzee during his lunch recess time. I wanted him to know that someone cared, and was rooting for him.  Most of the teachers at Luke's school, understand his needs, and help encourage him.  Many times this year, I have been told by various teachers what a good heart Luke has, or how he helped them, or did something kind.  I use these moments to feel encouraged that I am doing something right as Luke's mom.  That his character is so much, much more important than his grades.  As a former teacher myself, it is difficult for me to do this, but I understand that each kiddo is different, learns different, and goals in life are different.  We have to celebrate the individual victories and triumphs that come along.  Luke is the kid that buys Gatorade for the kids sick on the DC trip, or carries boxes to a teacher's car after school, holds open the door for EVERYONE, and is the first to volunteer.  Gosh, I love him.

The school work has been very difficult too.  So much that has challenged him, angered him, frustrated him.  But somehow we have both banned together and worked our way through it.  I couldn't have done it without the help of tutor that comes to the house twice a week to help me carry the immense load of work.  Stress is a real thing for kiddos with special needs.  Luke feels it and deals with it in ways that he knows how (sometimes ways that are not very constructive).  ADHD is real.  And from my latest research and studies on this disorder, the main concept that continues to be shared by authors, doctors and articles is that ADHD is an executive functioning skills disorder.  At first I was like, "what the heck is executive functioning skills?"  But the more I researched, I found out that those skills are used in every part of our daily lives.  From organizing yourself to get up, get dressed and all the skills that go with that, to staying focused and attentive in class, keeping track of assignments and homework...it's all related to your executive functioning skills.  It is so so difficult for these kiddos with ADHD to be organized in any area.  I am learning, as Luke's mom and advocate, how I can help this summer to work on some of these skills.  As long as there is a breath in me, I will be continuing to educate myself, to educate Luke on how he can do more, be more and embrace the amazing human he is, and share his gifts with the world.  I will continue to build him up and encourage him, and to speak back to the voices that tell him "he can't".  To which I say, "yes you can!"  We need more Luke's in the world.  I am so very lucky to have him in my life.  

Week #7 @ The Dahlhouse: Matthew Turns 2; Valentine's Day & A Beach Trip

 (Outside is where he wants to be...all.the.time.)

 (Taco Tuesday...the kiddos request this meal weekly.  Trying to get more veggies in their lives.)

 (3am snowfall on Valentine's Day)

 (PJ party for Valentine's Day)

 (Chinese New Year in full swing...a student's family meal)

 (Two year photo shoot)

 (Daniel-son)

 (More Snow)

Our week was filled with the bustle of a full schedule.  The week started with Luke's Casey Eye appointment.  I am happy to report two things...1) His eyes remain stable and 2) Mark went with him to this appointment I got a break!  He will return in June for another check up.  The weather was beautiful last Monday (a bit cold) but clear.  The kids and I found ourselves in the backyard soaking up the sun.  Matthew found some toys and is always so very happy to run around outside and so very unhappy when he has to come in the house.  

Each week I have been asking the kids what they want to eat for dinner.  This helps me in two ways.  I come up with ideas for dinner with their input, and they are more likely to eat it because they helped pick dinner.  I've been trying to include more veggies in our meals.  Tacos are one of their favorites and an easy way to get more fresh veggies. 

I woke up to a blanket of fresh snow on Wednesday morning.  It was 3am, and I was up to teach my sweet students.  This week was Chinese New Year.  I was shown this picture of a traditional Chinese New Year meal.  I was also greeted with a big red Chinese New Year sign and wished Happy New Year several times.  These kiddos are so sweet.  Although, I am ready for my schedule to get back up to full again.  It has been a long holiday break for my students.

Matthew had his two year old photos taken by my sweet and dear friend Brienne.  His birthday signifies the anniversary of our friendship.  It hard to believe two years have flown by.  Matthew was a little reluctant at first but she got some great photos and I can't wait to see them.  

Friday, the whole family headed to Long Beach, WA for a weekend getaway. Our friends invited us to stay at their beach house, and we were so thankful for an opportunity to unwind.  It was very peaceful and a beautiful house.  We were able to walk to the beach, collect some sea shells, practice our best Karate Kid impressions and eat some really yummy seafood.  Saturday was Matthew's actual birthday.  He laid in bed between Mark and I, and I counted down the minutes till the exact time (7:57am) he was born recounting the story of that day.  He actually blew out the candles on his mini cupcakes and it was a very relaxing day.  

More snow greeted us last night and this morning.  Most of it has melted away...just in time to go back to school tomorrow.  I am happy to report that my computer has been fixed!  It will be returned to me tonight.  Although my laptop and I have become better friends this past week.  It got me through all my VIPKID classes without issue, and worked beautifully at the beach house.  I taught my first away from home class this past Friday.  It felt good to know that I can do this job just about anywhere there is WiFi.  Week #7 was wonderful, and I am looking forward to whatever adventures await in the next.  

Week 4 @ The Dahlhouse: Meetings & Projects & Trucks

Week 4 at the Dahlhouse was hard week.  Some weeks just are.  So much going on and trying to hold down the house while Mark is busy working (traveling) can take it's toll after a while.  My Monday was insane and there were moments where I wasn't sure if we were all going to make it though.  I found this quote that is so true.  On Monday I was a little bit of everything all rolled into one mom.  

Monday I had a big meeting for Luke at his school.  It wasn't because anything was going wrong, but because sometimes you just are hoping things can be better, and hopeful everyone can be on the same page.  No matter how many of these meetings I sit in over the years, they are never easy.  Even when you are all on the same side.  A lot of meetings feel like "us vs. them."  However, I am happy that this meeting was...them with us...working with us...to make sure everyone was up to date on Luke.  Monday, Mark was in Pasco, so I was flying solo on this meeting.  Mark is my rock and it's difficult to go to these meetings without him.  He is incredible source of support.  Luke's tutor; however, was an amazing support and additional advocate for Luke.  I was so thankful she was there.  I did well...despite choking back some tears at times.  I surely didn't want to cry, although I easily could have.  Even though I know all the truth about Luke and his special needs...it is never easy to hear others talk about it.  I keep going...one foot in front of the other.  Advocate...advocate...advocate his worth.

Birthday prep is underway during this week at the Dahlhouse.  I can hardly believe this little guy is going to turn two in just a few weeks.  Seriously...where has the time gone.  It has flown by.  I am really enjoying this stage.  He is funny, opinionated, strong willed, sweet, loveable, has his own personality and likes...he is joy!

Matthew LOVES his trucks!  I am so excited he is getting his two year pictures taken this next week with our favorite photographer: Brienne Kristen Photography.  And the theme will be....you guessed it "TRUCKS!"  I was looking through the newborn pictures she took of Man Cub (2 years ago) and can hardly believe he was that small.   

Projects were accomplished this week.  Luke completed his Revolutionary War Timeline.  It was a major class project for Humanities; but Luke did an amazing job.  I am very proud.  He made it out of sheetrock.  I am also excited that he will be getting to see these places when he goes on the DC Trip.

This is what was happening when I was working with Luke and not paying attention to Man Cub's every move.  Goldfish, board games and toys!

His favorite toys are anything with wheels!  He will say "choo-choo," "car," and "bus".

Grace had an ortho appointment this week.  Braces are getting closer and closer for her.  She is excited to get her teeth her fixed.  I know it will give her more confidence.  

I found this little gem when I was cleaning out the diaper bag.  Seriously!  This girl!!!  I LOVE her!!! It's glamor shots at Chuck E Cheese.

 Brother bonding.

Mark and I went to the Portland Auto Show this week and Man Cub tagged along.  Vehicles are another one of Matthew's love languages.  He LOVED getting in and out of all the cars.  He walked around saying "beep-beep".  People thought he was the cutest!   I agree.

We call this the "silent fit".  Matthew protests when he doesn't like something.  He doesn't yell or cry.  Just lays there and makes faces at you.  In this example we made him get out of the car and he didn't like that idea.  He went and laid down in the middle of the Toyota display.  Awesome.  We are obviously winning at this parenting thing.

I love this picture...we are in my dream car.  Someday!  It is a Land Rover Range Rover.  It was pretty much the best.  I am grateful for a busy, crazy, loud life, and to get to do the job of advocate for my kids.