Week #26 & 27 @ The Dahlhouse

Summertime is in full swing at the Dahlhouse.  I am enjoying having a more relaxed schedule.  Even within the down time of summer, we continue to have a "schedule".   Monday's find us traveling to and fro from our little community library.  I finally found it!  It is the sweetest little library and perfect for my kiddos to peruse the aisles searching for the perfect book.  Bella calls it "book shopping" and cracks me up each time she says it. 

Water fills many of our hot days. 

Because this little one LOVES water sooo much, we have decided not to set up our big pool this summer.  Instead we have opted for a smaller pool that can be emptied when finished.

However, the size of the pool does not stop the big kiddos from joining in on the activities.  Pool is a pool.  LOL.  Grace is a joy!  She and Matthew have such a special bond and Grace is an excellent helper.  I can always count on her for Matthew help.  She is growing up.  Can't.even.believe.it!

Even though it is summer, the process of fighting and advocating for my kids does not take time off.  Even on a warm Monday, you can find us in the doctor's office with double appointments because this mama has a concern.  Man...I LOVE MY BOYS!  Luke is struggling...he is such a sweet, beautiful soul.  What a privilege to be his mama.  In the midst of Luke's of trials and hard stuff....I am crazy, deeply grateful for my amazing son!  He bring such joy and how I love him and the good God that brought us together.  Pray for him if you think of him.  We've had some very hard days around these parts. 

And oh Matthew...the little person I wished for that I didn't know that I needed!  Matthew is in Infant Toddler Early Intervention.  We have therapy for him for language delays.  He also is tip toe walking. I am concerned and needed the doctor to look at him.  After an exam and four xrays that left us both sweating and crying, he was referred for a pediatric therapy evaluation.  Knowledge is power.  We will be happy if he is fine, and happy to get help if he needs it. 

I finished this book in June.  Wow!  I knew it would be a hard read...and it was.   As a mama that has had both life and death within her...that has said goodbye to three little babies I never knew...my soul needed to read this.  I needed to feel it again.  I needed to grieve a bit more.  I needed to let myself go there.  And I did.  I cried the ugly cry more than once and surprised myself that even after 15, 14 and 12 years ago of losing my babies, the memories, the pain, the dreams and hopes for these little tiny humans were still there.  I allowed myself to feel it and talk about it.  And.it.was.good.  I am glad that I read this book. 

My photobook from Shutterfly arrived.  I designed one about our anniversary trip to Hawaii.  It turned out better than I expected and I highly recommend them.

My scar from my skin cancer is healing very well.  It is better than I could have imagined!  I am very happy. 

 Everyone needs a batman in their life!

 And a baby with a cat on their heads!  Thank you Facebook messenger!!!

 BBQing at Mimi and Papa's.

 Holding on to Hope while parenting on difficult days.

Bella had the opportunity to take a Mandarin lesson through a company called Lingo Bus.  It is a partner company with the one I work for VIPKID.  She loved it!  She is obsessed with Chinese culture.  She loves Panda's, Chinese food and learning people's names in Chinese.  I heart her so!

We've been selling pizza cards as a fundraiser for 4h.  This is our new mini rex rabbit.  She is super soft.

Papa and Mimi took Luke this last weekend for an overnight at their house.  They also took him golfing!  I am hoping that Luke will be able to join the high school golf team in a couple of years.  He really loves it and I think it would be very good for him.

Finally two of my kids promoted grades/classes on Sunday!  Bella moved up to the first grade class.  And Luke graduated out of children's church on Sunday mornings.  He is now going to be a helper for the younger kids classes.  Grace is excited as well because she gets to begin going to youth group.  Tonight is her first night!

Week #22 @ The Dahlhouse

Week #22 started off with a holiday.  I enjoyed some down time after my big birthday bash.  We recently purchased some new patio furniture and I must say I really LOVE it.  I've also served as mediator for about a bazillion badminton games.  I hate sitting out, but my arm isn't in badminton shape right now (darn scar from my skin cancer). 

I had this FABOULOUS idea to take the kids shopping at the mall.  We hadn't been to the mall in awhile, and Luke needed new shoes, and my kids generally love going to the mall.  I should have known.  I should have remembered...shoe shopping for Luke is not for the faint of heart.  Everything has to fit precisely or NO GO!  It took two hours, six shoes stores, one container of baby puffs, package of crackers, and a few bad words muttered under my breath before he located the "perfect" shoe.  Sensory disorders are a real thing! 

After Mark came and took the baby home (and I purchased him a new outfit because he peed through his clothes and little prepared me didn't pack him an extra outfit) I took the olders out to sushi.  Oh my word!!!! They loved it!!! 

 This beauty!  Twelve years going on twenty!

 The aftermath of the sushi feast!

This is a book I am thinking about ordering.  My therapist (yes I have one) recommends it.  I am always looking to shape my parenting into ways that meet my children where they are. 

We purchased a gizmogadget watch/phone for the kids.  Luke loses things all.the.time. and we wanted him to be able to be more independent.  This is amazing device.  It even had a GPS locator in it.  Safety is big with us!

We enjoyed the kids' student led conferences.  They each had the opportunity to present some of their best work from the school year.  It was very meaningful, and we are incredibly proud of our three children.  PS... I don't have a picture of Grace's conference because I had to take Bella to the bathroom and held Matthew the entire time.  I try...I try.  We celebrated with lunch at Red Robin which I have no picture of because I spent most of the time praying that we would survive the lunch with Matthew.  He is at that age where everything is difficult.

Friday evening we celebrated the end of the school year with the annual Lion Palooza.  We had never been before, but enjoyed an evening of face paint, bouncy houses, dunk tanks and silly string.  We were able to hear from the school's superintendent that they just purchased land and will be building a new campus soon. 

Saturday we had 4h and enjoyed the time with our bunnies.  In the next couple of weeks we will be adding another bun-bun to our crew. 

What Happened to the American Church?

Mark travels a lot for work.  He works for the railroad.  He conducts trains.  He always says it sounds more interesting than it really is.  In his pursuit to provide for our family, it leaves me alone on many Sunday mornings singly parenting our energetic children.  The way I see it...I have two choices.  I can stay home, or I can round up my bunch and go to church.  Some Sundays, the prospect of herding them into a place of worship seems daunting to me and we stay home.  Other Sundays, I feel brave and ready to embrace whatever kayos the four of them can dish up.  Today was one of "those brave" Sundays.  Even though I was at church on time this morning, and prepared with bottles, snacks, polly pockets, and colors, NOTHING could have prepared me for my experience at our neighborhood church.    

Before I describe to you my experience at church this morning...here is a little background.  I was raised in church from the front row.  In fact...I was even born on a Sunday in a little town called Woodland in California.  My dad and mom were pastors at a small little Foursquare church.  What few memories I have are good memories. In fact, my parents were pastors for over 25 years.  When I thought of raising children in church, it was always a given that we would be going to my parent's church.  They would dedicate their grandbabies, my dad would baptize his grandkids...But...life has a way of changing your plans.  Cancer came and took my dad almost 13 years ago, and took my dreams and plans as well.  Their church is gone.  The entry front empty. 

Mark and I pressed on and became involved in another church.  He served on the church board for over 6 years and youth pastored for five years as a volunteer.  I served as a children's worker, and worship leader.  Since our youngest was born, we have taken a break from ministry to focus on our family.  So on those Sundays, the ones I find myself parenting solo and I feel brave enough to venture to church with four kids in tow, I often attend the church one block from our home. 

So...today I felt exceptionally brave.  I arrived a few minutes early and looked for a good seat.  Most of the time my kids can't see.  So we sat down in the front row way off to the left hand side (on the side of the stage).  The kids had a great view of the singers and instruments.  I got a sleepy baby out of his car seat.  My kids stood and sang and the baby was mesmerized by the giant screens.  About half way through the worship service, I was told that I couldn't sit in the front row with the baby because they are recording the service (with the 4 video cameras that they have).  I thought this woman was joking.  Nope. Serious.  My kids were quiet and well behaved, and the baby hadn't even made a peep. But I didn't argue, instead, I packed up my kids (car seat, diaper bag, purse, kids) and walked to the back section.  There wasn't enough seats to be found for my large brood.  So I decided to take the girls to their class.  They enjoy the music, so I let them stay in the main service for the songs.  I walked down the long staircase to their classroom to be greeted by a large sign posted across the door that read, "No children are excepted into class after 20 minutes of the start of service.  They need to remain with you."  I checked the clock on my phone.  It was 22 minutes after the start of service.  SERIOUSLY!!!  I had no idea!  So I walked back up the stairs and stood stupidly in the hallway.  I had no idea what to do.  I was ready to go home but I really wanted Luke to go to youth group.  He adores the youth group. 

A woman (I had never met before), saw me in the hall and asked if I was ok.  And the tears just came.  And.I.couldn't.stop.  I was doing the ugly cry in the middle of a tiny hallway at church.  Let's recall...I sat in the wrong spot, my girls couldn't attend class and I had no where to sit or go.  I felt like a fool in front of this woman.  After speaking to an usher, their solution for me was to go into the Mother's lounge where I could watch the service through the live feed on the TV.  Great.  Except for the part where my 13 year old son couldn't come in.  I arranged for him to sit in the main service next to the woman who asked if she could help me until it was time for his class to start.  I took the girls and baby into the mother's lounge, sat down in a rocking chair and cried and cried.  I even had my older daughter get me more tissue (twice). 

I started asking myself, "what happened to the American church?"  How can a church make me (ME) feel so unwelcome!  I've been going to church my whole life!  I get this church thing.   Or I thought I did.  It's not like I was a newbie.  I couldn't help but think of my dad.  He loved kids!  He didn't even mind crying babies in service.  He could preach right through.  Years ago I was a children's church pastor and I never turned away children!!!  I would go find them and invite the kids in the sanctuary to class.  The door was always open.  How did we get to this place?  When did church become more about recording the service, capturing the right shot, and less about people?  When did church become a performance or concert?  As I recall Jesus WELCOMED the little children to him.  He didn't turn them away because they were 22 minutes late to the start of class, or ask them to take the baby out of the front row! 

I drove away from church today feeling like I had done something wrong.  I told my oldest son that church shouldn't make you feel that way.  You shouldn't leave church feeling like you broke every rule, ruined the camera recording and failed to get your children to class on time.  I should have left church feeling encouraged, loved, challenged, inspired, uplifted, cared for, built up.  But all church did to me today was communicate I was unwelcome, my children unwelcome and I had broken the rule by not sitting in the appropriate section.  I was broken, hurt, upset, lonely, unvalued and shamed when I walked out of that church today.  It's pretty safe to say, I won't be going back.  What is happening to churches these days?  In the past, I've often wondered where all the people are that are our age.   After my experience this morning, it is less of mystery. 

"But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children." And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left. ~ Matthew 19:14-15